HOW TO TELL IF YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE SELLING DRUGS, AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
1. Your neighbors have people coming to their house. We all know that good god-fearing Americans don't have parties or an extended circle of friends. If they do have lots of people coming over, they're definitely not reading the Bible and reciting the pledge of allegiance until bed-time at 9 p.m. like they should be.
2. Your neighbors are young people. Young people are weird. They have no respect for decent law-and-order folk like us.
3. They listen to strange music. This could be rap, rock, techno, or even classical music. This is a clear sign of Satan's influence on the listener. They could be selling drugs, or even worse thinking for themselves over there. God forbid, they could even be having sex in some position other than missionary...what is this world coming to?
4. You don't like them. Because if you don't like them, they must surely be bad people.
5. They keep the blinds closed. We all know that decent people don't need or desire privacy. Why would they want privacy unless they were doing something wrong?
If you suspect your neighbors are selling drugs, there are several things you can, nay, should do about it. First and foremost, open the blinds of your house and just stand in front of your window watching your neighbors all the time. Drug users are paranoid, because they know they are bad people. Knowing they are being watched will make them very uncomfortable. Keep this in mind as you spy on your neighbors.
Also, you should call the police any time you see any movement out of them. If they have people over, call the police. If they go into the back yard, call the police. If they flush the toilette, call the police.
By being constantly vigilant and persecuting anyone who sticks out from the herd, we can cleanse our pure and righteous country of all this trash and keep our children safe from these subversive activities and original thoughts. God is on our side.